I have just woken in a sweat which has soaked the bed sheets to the point that I thought I had urinated the bed. It is 3:17 AM in the morning.
I am typing this into my smartphone in the dark.
This must be said. Men rape boys too.
#mentoo suffer as a result of sexual assault.
These crimes occur across all cultures, indiscriminate of gender as we are all made aware of through the media.
I wish in this case, in this instance to highlight that men who suffer at the hands of pedophiles are having a catastrophic effect on our humanity as all those around them suffer too from their trauma and troubled minds.
It is a sad indictment that in 2019 as a collective humanity that children are still being sexually assaulted by pedophiles, sick males who target young boys, children and young men. The shame and guilt, the disbelief and wilful victimisation that survivors of these crimes against themselves have to endure from their family, friends, peers, colleagues and strangers is a continuing trait of humanity and a deeply troubled society.
I faced my perpetrator (who has already been charged and convicted) in court three days ago and read my six page Victim Impact Statement which contains the last words, I am a survivor.
I am a 50 years old male, Father to five children and two Grandchildren.
My greatest wish is for my story to be public and for those men who have gone through the same as me, to know that it is not OK that they experience all of what society treats them with and for me to know that I have directly contributed towards preventing men from suiciding is what keeps me alive.
This is NOT about me rather it’s about all men who have suffered the same.
This is about the many amazing women who walk alongside their men, the selfless women who endure the torment of these men’s minds and help them face their own demons and eventually bring down those demons too. This is who this post if for… all of those amazing women who have also endured incomprehensible suffering and yet reach out and help those men who have endured similar.
Sadly, a day after the court hearing I attended a 50th birthday party for a long time friend from college. We grew up together in the Sutherland Shire near Sydney, Australia. He shook in rage as I held his hands and told him why I had been in court the previous day.
He then wept as we recounted many people who had been sexually assaulted by the same monster who raped me, detained me, kidnapped me and held me against my own will. That same monster had been a ‘family friend’ and perpetrated against those in that family also.
The very same monster who raped a young man close to us both at school who despite my friends help suicided last year. He would have also turned 50 years of age.
I choose to speak out on these matters. I always will until my last breath in this place.
I stood in court, not sitting and I read of the impact that sexual assault of the most gross order has had on me since childhood through to now as a grey haired man. I endured more of the legal wrangle as the pomp of justice parade in front of a dislocated me. The institutions who failed me continue to act with false prophets as their guide. They force our society through these tools of oppression, with pedophilia their main weapon against our community.
These Churches and their Clergy are illegal, aiding and abetting the worst of crimes against humanity. We all must individually listen to these horrific facts and like I am doing, make the difference by not dismissing it as an inconvenient, complicated truth.
Young men, middle aged men and older men in our society are holding this crime against themselves all their lives until the burden is too great and they self harm, suicide or worse by taking the lives of innocent people in their perception that humanity has failed them.
The fact is that men too are dying at a hugely under reported rate, self harming disguised under other more convenient statistics and this all further perpetuates pedophilia. I hereby implore of you, to do something about this by caring enough to bring this issue forward openly in your lifeworld.
Make the difference by speaking openly out against this crime against all of humanity.