Another day, another deep set life lesson.
Imagine a world where in pairing up with a craker who are genetically designed and mate like dolphins where there is a definite season in which body parts turn blue and a mating ritual where the female chooses up to 4 'fathers' and the babies raised with the help of the whole tribe.
A Margaret Atwood genre-speculative fiction novel loosely resembling what we all crave and yet religiously inculcated relinquished for the convenience of a Jason recliner, multi-channel remote and a once a year blow job.
That was on a SMS message at 6:10am to wade through.
Then there was the other one with the Indian lady who loves " no holes" barred sex but only if she is totally blindfolded the whole time....needs a threesome to feel 'complete'.
Or the 67 year old man who would rather be called 'love ' or 'hunny' or 'sugar' or 'bunny' or whatever he chooses essentially.
So what is it with the world that doesn't have the capacity to understand where one partner says ' you are free to be' and in doing so that affording your partner their rightful freedom (as you never owned them in the first place) is happiness complete, not wanting something from it. In other words, we are so conditioned to expectation, to needing something for something that when someone else affords their partner that ethical right - total freedom - that it is treated with suspicion, that there is a need for that partner to be part of the equation of connection.
That freedom returned is the greatest blessing requited, not expected.
Freedom in all respects.
Not " dont ask, dont tell" or this bullshit "open relationship" fiasco where nothing is shared and everything is sexualised. The immediacy of "well if you are partnered then they must want a piece of the action" or in the absence of that contact then "we spiritually connect with you through our extended heart chakras".
It always seems to return back to the ego - that caring about another persons freedom is not about the reward for having done so and therefore there needs to be some inclusion of that person in whatever is occurring as pay-back, pay-forward or pay-anything.
It is not a "we as three".....but perhaps a third wheel is the complication, or a fourth, group, team, tribe....for goodness sake....do we have the capacity to let it all go and just be ourselves?
I think we are descending into a hell of where we have become the product, where we market ourselves on the dating app shelves, we tweak our profiles to suit a certain headed beast, a perfect partner, a soulmate who will be ours....forever....or at least till they are fucked and off. Then there is the grunt grunt, top, bottom, hung, ready now crowd who wouldn't know the difference (nor care) between a fleshlight and a still-warm sheep carcass.
What a lovely ethical soup we have made ourselves into. If for just one moment we were able to reflect on that ego driven chatter and hear ourselves amongst that million headed caterpillar that weaves our winding streets we might find ourselves, alone, still.
Happily single. Not seeking a relationship, rather a relatedness, with a soulmate, free to be.
Or more, without expectation.