To the Reader,

In September 2014 I decided to share my #realstory openly in Facebook.

I continue to receive feedback from around the world and I am considering turning this into an e-publication book for download. Meanwhile... I hope you enjoy what I have written. This is my story. You can watch my real story also in YouTube.

*Note - return to this page for navigation or use page controls at base of each post to progress chapters.


1 - Bexley


"...If you ever get a chance travel to Bexley, NSW Australia. In that shopping centre, one of the busiest you will find in Sydney there used to be a small corner shop that sold 5 cent bags of lollies. For comparison you need 100 cents to make a dollar. Ever the entrepreneur I built a machine out of a cardboard box that dispensed the lollies one at a time." - read more


2 - Forever Friends


"...He is my Brother. He is my best mate. He is one of many mates but with this bloke I've travelled further than all of them. I have lots of Brother's but we dont share the same Mother." - read more


3 - Kirrawee High School

"...Yes. It's in the Sutherland Shire, NSW Australia." - read more


4 - Church of England Boys Society


"...Some say that when you have run out of energy, run out of sadness and despair that forgiveness is the only thing left to do, to reclaim that which allows peace and healing to come in. I woke this morning and knew that this is the morning where I tell my story. I did one hundred pushups in a row. No sets of ten." - read more


5 - Heading West


"...A piece of cardboard, a texta (ink) pen, $10 in my wallet, odd socks, a few pairs of undies, a jacket and absolutely no idea what I was in for." - read more


6 - Welcome To Fatherhood
 

"Perth? Are you serious?" "Yes" "...Well jump in Son...I am going to take you as far as I can go today and when you get back be sure to give me a call." - read more


7 - Precious Child
 

"...If only we had a magic wand that we could wave and change things in ways that would allow the harder shifts and changes in our lives to just go away." - read more


8 -Growing Pains
 

"...I have never imagined for a moment myself as a writer, yet here I am at 6AM in the morning putting pen to paper metaphorically speaking." - read more


9 - A Construction Yard
 

"...A significant and very senior public servant recently asked me, brows knitted, coffee froth over lipstick what I considered to be me - how in fact do I describe myself to others. How do I live with myself. Cutting." - read more


10 - Lock Down


"...There are times in everybody's life, well at least those that are honest with themselves where they feel like taking the easy way out. Ending it. Kaput. No more hurt or pain." -  read more 


11 - Light & Grace


"...I dedicate this chapter to three men in my life. Senior figures whose contribution to me, Alexander Hayes forever changed my life's prospects. Whose unwavering belief in me most certainly propelled me into who I am now." - read more


12 - Soul Mining


"...The joys of teaching, bringing knowledge into young minds and thwarting neuroplasticity from years of solvent abuse, malnourishment and neglect. The pain of separation from my Wife and young child. - read more


13 - MOBOLOGY


"...In late 2002 I noted a great deal of movement in the ed-tech space where people were avidly debating the onset of learning management systems." - read more


14 - Father


"...One of the most important, most rewarding aspects of my life is the fact I am now a Father to four amazing children." - read more


15 - TALO


"...The internet brought with it both good and bad according to some people. I would rather describe it as just is. The worlds most successful project in a contemporary context." - read more


16 - Sexuality


"...I choose to live my life by one accord - Libre D’être . Free to be. Stand free. Free to be me." - read more


17 - In Letting Sad Go


"...I, Alexander Hayes, personally did a lot of things wrong. Some say 'wrong' is not a word but until I find something to replace it with easily it will remain. A bit like saying anger is a useless and pointless emotion, where forgiveness quells the soul and then brings on the saint." - read more


18 - Romance


"...Âme profonde, dans nos vies par le biais des lignes gravées yeux ronds, chemins comparaître devant nous et nous trouvons nos pas à l'unisson que la parenté. Par le souffle, malentendants ne écoute pas, ne cherche pas voir. Un sentiment-deux monde, surréaliste, conscient, que les amateurs nous marchons longue marche, parler à long parler, voyage long voyage." - read more


19 - The Underbelly Of Society
 

"...It is 11:42 PM and I should be asleep. This one keeps coming back to me - wave after wave, feels like I'm drowning, pulling against the stream etc." - Read more


20 - The Creative
 

Since I was very young I noticed people around me had pictures drawn on their bodies.  I noticed the trash collectors had tattoos on their forearms, legs. I noticed that naval personnel had tattoos that bore the insignia of their troop, clan, rank. I noticed tattoos on the martial arts instructors, boxing ring keepers, weightlifting coach. - read more


21 - Loss And Grieving
 

"...Encouraged by one individual, one incredible soul, a long time friend with her own deep experiences of loss, I now write on the topic of loss and grieving." - read more 


22 - Depression


"...Strangely, this chapter does not have a locked position unlike other chapters in my life story. For as long as I can recall I have suffered from depression in a number of manifestations of which I will lightly touch on to give you, the reader, the sense of what it means for me to have depression. Of course I am writing here through a 46 year old filter so at many other stages in my life I would have been less frank with you." - read more


23 - Relationships


"...I live it like this. For as long as I can recall I have loved many people." - read more


24 - On Letting Go


"...I got out of the car and wept. Soft tears that fell from my cheeks causing me to need to wipe them, take a deep breath and readjust my temperament before I walked in and paid rent this morning at the real estate office." - read more


25 - Tenth and Beaufort


"...I love digging around through hard drives crammed with things forgotten. For some reason or other in 2004 over a three hour period I recall sitting in the St. Vincents Town Council library after drinking a very strong coffee in Leederville, Perth Western Australia and writing three short stories....or perhaps they are spoken word lilt speak or maybe they are part of another body of works I've forgotten about." - read more


26 - Mobology


"...For as long as I have had an interest in technology, there has been this recurrent discursive that it is in fact something that disrupts the way in which we learn, that it should be excused for its rudeness by which it interrupts an educators "flow", that those bearing such technologies should excuse themselves from interjecting amongst what is a pantomime led by the font of knowledge - the teacher. - read more


27 - Bullying


"...Whilst looking through an old photo album tonight I came across a bunch of negatives and old developed photos from 1982. My first thoughts were to tear them up and bin them, throw them out, discard of them and never ever see them again....but the memories will never escape me." - read more


28 - Our Nations Fair Capital


"...Where does the time go? To live my life, be happy and die happy." - read more


29 - The Kinsey Scale


"...Tumblr seems to be THE place to be when it comes time to experience and contribute to one of the most groundbreaking and challenging areas of human expression. For many it is nothing more than a space to create and connect with others creations." - read more


30 - Love Unlocked


"...I describe my own state of dissatisfaction as the way I had lived my life in a perpetual (and somewhat destructive) state of careening... from one monogamous relationship to another." - read more