Sexuality

I choose to live my life by one accord - Libre D’être 

Free to be. Stand free.

Free to be me.

I urge you to access, read and try to understand the following - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

That is how I choose to be identified publicly.

It is one of the world's most misunderstood terms and yet may in fact be one of the most compelling factors across cultures in determining what constitutes an individual's sexuality….if in fact you agree at all in being identified in any way.

My sexuality is no secret and I do not attempt to keep it a secret. I choose to be publicly identified for one reason.

Personal as political.

I understand that my sexuality is my own private business but in the context of this publication I am not afraid to make it known to whomever wishes to know of this fact that I am omni or pansexual.

This act of me making this public statement may serve to help those who struggle with their own sexuality, as I have for many years in my life, only to discover that in fact there is a knowledge for wisdom in being who you are and in being open about who you are.

To that end, many people are labelled simply out of convenience with the term ‘bisexual’ - across cultures and society yet the truth may be that they are in fact mislabelled and misunderstood out of sheer ignorance.

Again, I repeat, I urge you to access, read and try to understand what pansexuality actually means - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

This is a serious topic but for a laugh you can also refer to this article which I think is a wonderful example of how wickedly distorted we are in society as we face and discuss sexuality according to the Kinsey Scale - https://viagrabestbuy.com/15-shocking-gay-facts/

This chapter is written here because it doesn't matter where it sits, as it will remain present through all chapters of the book of life, of which we have no control over...not of the pages, not of the chapters themselves.

The only thing we can do is go back and flick the pages over, however, we can never re-write those pages past or at the point of today - right.....now.

The meaning of life is just that little dash between the date of our birth and the date of our death on our tombstone … metaphorically speaking.

Sexuality.

It belongs to no one else, it is not someone else's business, they do not have the right to determine what our sexuality is, they have no control over our sexuality, our sexuality is fluid through time and space, our attractiveness to others may differ from time to time, people have no right to judge us by our sexuality etc. etc.

You have heard it all before.

You have agreed to the rule of law (in our western attempt at democracy at least) not to discriminate against others based on their identity (whether sexuality informs that or not) and you are bound to abide by those societal understandings that a person's sexuality has nothing to do with you...nor does it affect you....nor determine who you are ....nor how you act or interact with that person.

That is your choice to respond, to interact, to empathise, to understand as it is theirs to do the same for you.

I firmly believe, as a work in progress my truth is as it is to me, that sexuality is fluid (pardon the pun), a changing domain of knowledge and is shifting the more I seek to understand it all.

For as long as I can remember I've thought of my own sexuality as 'omni' and the closest thing I can find that describes what I may identify as is that of pansexual - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

An example of this is that I have a friend who at one point was known as ‘Nathan’ and who after a transition time became (always was) Samantha. I was always attracted to Nathan as I am to Samantha.

In summary, I am attracted to an individual who is transgender. That is not the only person I am attracted to who identifies as someone other than a hetrosexual or homosexual or anything in between.

I am not attracted to their sexuality - I am attarcted to the person, the soul that inhabits that vessel.

For many of you reading this book or chapter you may wish to tag, label, or group me by a better known term - bisexual.

So, if it is easier for you to refer to me as being bisexual, then I am bisexual. I am of approximately 4% of the human population who has the capacity to love men, women or other genders equally….not with a statistical differential, just the capability of loving (and being sexually attracted to) another irrespective of their gender.

Whilst we are on the topic of love ... I have had many lovers in my life. It is not boastful or egotistical, nor hedonist, rather cathartic, sad and emblematic of my life story.

I have been married three times and engaged to be married at least that number again. I have been blessed with children to people I was not married to and have children to people I have been married to. I have lost children in utero and have lost a step-child in a car accident.

I have loved, I have lost, I have grieved and none of it had anything to do with my sexuality.

I have... as many people know, been intimately involved with adults many years my senior or at times adults a number of years my junior. A simple relationship map of my own identified partnerships confuses me enough...never mind someone trying to draw it up for me!

My sexuality is not determined by whom I have had relationships with.

It is not bound nor determined by who I have had sex with nor by those whom others suppose I have had sex with. My sexuality is not determined by what others perceived or supposed I was doing with people who I was friends with either.

In fact, my friendships with others and my close relationships with others are as diverse and as wonderful as the sky is blue on a clear day and black in the midst of a storm.

I have friends who identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transgender...and the list goes on. I have "gay" friends and I have "straight" friends. I have close relationships as mates, brothers, friends, buddies, friends-with-benefits and every other known combination of friendships and have always done so with people who identify as men, women and every known other non-homogeneous of human-form.

It does not determine how you perceive of me nor does it entitle you to make any assumptions as to who I am intimately involved with. In fact, I can count on two fingers how many deeply, intimately and trusting soul mate relatedness I have had in my lifetime.

In summary, my sexuality is my business and my mine alone. I choose to do what I want with that knowledge and to change that at any time I chose to do so.

I am choosing to make this open and public in the hope that will encourage others to accept and be proud of their own state of being which for many people is the core of much of their life’s unhappiness.

I love humans in all of their manifestations and I do not discriminate against those who choose one, and one alone. You can be hetrosexual if you wish and I will not discriminate against you because you choose to relate sexually to one gender type.

No, you do not have a convenient box to put me in....nor a tick-box that fits.

In saying so it is probably a great idea for you to turn the lens on yourself and truthfully answer the following.

How do you identify ?

How does the scale below relate to you?

In that respect this article may be of interest to you also - http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/25/gay-straight-bi-how-to-describe-your-sexuality?CMP=soc_567

Image: The Kinsey Scale - Wikipedia